Compensation
by Autumn Win-Dow
Summary: Because Ruka was starting to feel that in fact, his heart was only worth that much to her.


**_Compensation_**

**by Autumn Win-Dow**

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Ruka was unable to differentiate clearly what he was feeling. He had never been a master of self-awareness, but at times it would lead to the extremity that he didn't know why he felt certain feelings for things.

In particular, he would always question himself on why he allowed himself to fall for such a love-evasive woman like Hotaru.

As he set his cold stare upon the mechanical object in front of him - a rabbit shaped coin collector, which would extract coins upon your request - Ruka asked himself for the umpteenth time, _why?_

He believed at one poor that he knew her well, but as he placed a broad hand on the head of the metal rabbit, the blonde couldn't help but scoff at himself.

_I don't even know myself. How could I know what Hotaru was really like if I didn't even know about myself?_

Hotaru had always had an aura of mystery and caution, and Ruka was continually condescending himself for having the optimism to try and figure the woman out.

The longer he thought about it, the more idiotic he felt.

He hated himself for loving the nonchalant Ice Queen, but it didn't change the fact that he was in love.

However, another part of him felt betrayed.

He had thrown his heart on the line, and never received it back.

Ruka had tried his hardest to gain the affections of Hotaru Imai, the money-crazy inventor. He had defended her, assisted her - for free - in jobs which she couldn't do herself, and comforted her when she was at her most vulnerable.

Ruka had been one of the only people to see her tears.

This had reassured him that albeit her personality, she was one hundred per cent human. For a period of time, he had a revived confidence that he held the chance to be with Hotaru.

Only to be disappointed.

It wasn't because of how much he did for her - as his body would always beat him to helping people - not was her rejection.

It was what she left for him the day after.

According to Mikan, she had left. It was unknown even to her best friend where, but all that was known that she wasn't in Tokyo.

He was remorseful. Ruka hadn't seen her after his rejection.

The blonde was aware that he fell in love way too easily. This fact was one which he despised greatly.

His finger trailed towards a single button on the head of the rabbit. The coin dispenser had been left on his doorstep the day that Hotaru had left Tokyo. Judging from how she always associated him with two things - rabbits and money - it was safe for Ruka to assume that she had been the sender. In a spark of curiosity, he firmly pressed the button in an attempt to find some sort of reaction.

A coin sized package was ejected out of the coin slot.

With a raised eyebrow and trembling fingers, he pulled out the tiny package and unwrapped it, and found something which horrified him.

**_Nogi,_**

**_Take care of your money. Here's a start. Consider it compensation._**

With the piece of paper was a 500 yen coin.

Ruka wanted to feel angry - he wanted to find her and demand why she believed that his heart was worth such an easy sum of money - but he didn't. He couldn't. He didn't know how he felt. Ruka was the type of person who somehow couldn't differentiate anger and humor. He was amused by the fact that Hotaru even bothered to _compensate _him for his heartbreak. Although he was still infatuation with the money-centric female, he found it utterly _ridiculous _how she intended to solve everything with money - yet still, there was not even the slightest spark of anger he wished to express to her.

_Maybe my heart's actually worth that much. Five hundred yen, huh. I'm just too easy, and not nearly as desirable than anyone else._

He was never a master of self-awareness, after all.

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_**A/N: Second fic in a day. I just couldn't stop thinking about writing, all of a sudden, after my hiatus. So here's a drabble. I feel like I've been writing a lot of angst and self-bashing fics nowadays. Wonder what's happening.**_

_**Review, please? :)**_


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